Cabana Bay

Cabana Bay

During a normal year, I spend about 45 days in hotels. Some ancient, some brand new. Some clean, some crusty. Some fancy like a peacock, some plain as white bread. But nothing is ever as unique as Cabana Bay in Orlando, Florida.

On December 3rd, 2019 I was driving from Fayetteville, NC with the goal of reaching Miami by the 5th. I had time to spare. I crossed the Florida border around 6 pm, with 5 more hours of driving ahead of me, and no hotel booked. So I had the bright idea, “I’m in Florida, let’s go to NASA”. Bad idea. Elon Musk was launching a rocket the next day, so every hotel room in a 30-mile radius of Cape Canaveral was booked up.

Scrolling through some travel apps, it appeared the closest hotels with vacancies were in Orlando. “Okay, I’ve never been to Orlando, let’s check it out.” Searching, scrolling, searching, scrolling, and a listing comes up for a hotel called Cabana Bay, with images — as I remember it — lots of oranges, teals, maybe some yellows, maybe some greens. Colors that shouted “1960s mall decor”, “Eames molded plastic chair”, and “tangerine cafeteria tray”. It’s weird. I’m tired. I’m almost desperate to find lodging. I booked one night — just one night.

Then I arrived…

The Entrance of Cabana Bay

I arrived and all the orange, yellow, green & blue neon, palm trees, and wild 1950-60s architecture captured my mind. Where was I? Vegas? 1959? I parked illegally. Grabbed my bags. Got in a line. And immediately added 2 days to my stay. And a free pen. Got that too.

So what is Cabana Bay? It’s a massive mid-century Americana-themed hotel that’s part of the Universal Studios theme park. Read about it on the architecture firm’s website. Primarily, it’s patronized by families going to Universal Studios to ride the Harry Potter roller coaster. Aside from the hotel rooms, there’s a massive cafeteria (designed to look & feel like a mid-century cafeteria), a bowling alley, a few bars, an arcade, a huge pool area, a gift shop, and a Starbucks (of course). If you see a mid-century-looking hotel in a movie, it’s usually Cabana Bay.

I stayed in the Continental wing. Look at that neon. Look at that font. Check out the tangerine-orange, pool-bottom turquoise, appliance green, and beefsteak crimson.

the Continental Cabana Bay

A Hanna-Barbera-style cartoon mural at one end of the cafeteria (Christmas tree because it was December):

Cartoon Character Mural at Cabana Bay

A lot of the photos I took were at 1 am or later — that’s why it looks vacant. The cafeteria:

The Cafeteria.

I spend hours taking photos. Check out this lighting fixture:

Light Fixture

Check out these chairs (yeah I sat in them):

Aqua Chairs at Cabana Bay

And the neon sign for the bowling alley. Yeah, I… went to the bar.

Galaxy Bowl at Cabana Bay

Check out this fancy Christmas drink:

A refreshing holiday drink at Cabana Bay

Even the parking deck looked awesome:

Parking Deck

What else? The staff was excellent. The lady in the gift shop spent 10 minutes telling me about the history of the place. She was awesome. The main bar and the bartenders were fantastic. The cafeteria food was… cafeteria food — lots of choices, but nothing too fancy. My room was clean — it came with a bar of Zest soap. There are a free shuttle and free admission to Universal City Walk (kinda boring unless you’re a family).  None of the families and their kids were annoying. Just a great, very memorable hotel.

Zest

 

A dinosaur by the bridge near Little Italy in Cleveland

There’s a dinosaur mural near the bridge near Little Italy in Cleveland. Mayfield Ave.

Cleveland Dinosaur Mural in Cleveland

The last time I was in Cleveland, I decided to check out Little Italy. It was hot – almost 90 degrees. 3o minute walk. When I arrived in Little Italy I was a hulking, sweaty mess. I paced Mayfield Ave, trying to decide which restaurant or pizza parlor to pick. I chose the one with a visible bar. The bartender looked at me with wide-eyed panic. I imagined he was thinking I was about to have a heart attack. I ordered a pizza and a large beer in a large glass. We both relaxed. Beer, pizza. I was happy.

Homosassa & Spring Hill Florida

While I was in the Weeki Wachee area for the Mermaids, I decided to stay an extra day and check out other local attractions.

My hotel was kind of crusty, kind of weird. Red/orange carpets. Stucco & a spray-on ceiling to cover stains, leaks, & burns. Cigarette burns on the sink countertop in my room. I shared an elevator ride with a brunette woman in a crimson nightgown, holding a lit cigarette. She said, “God bless you”. I did not sneeze. I don’t remember the hotel room having lights, except in the bathroom. The air conditioner was making a racket. I tried to fix it. The filters were caked with gray-brown filth. I rinsed them off in the shower. The noise persisted, but the room smelled better. I looked out the window. Old gray macadam, Florida vegetation, saw palmetto, anole lizards everywhere. There was a bar & bowling alley across the highway. Why didn’t I go? I’m a fool. Instead, I watched videos on my phone. Watched the trailer for Wonder Woman 1984 — the one with music by New Order — and thought “that looks good”. The front desk clerk was sassy, humorous — the kid needs to get out of Florida and move to LA or New York. Be a stand-up comic, find more people like you “sassy front desk man”! Plenty of local magazines featuring gun ranges & stores. Good bedtime reading to remind me where I am.

Some of the local sights:

Bubbles the Manatee. Bubbles the Manatee resides at the entrance of the Homosassa Springs Wildlife Park, which I recommend you visit. They have actual manatees.

Bubbles the Manatee

The Manatee Tours – Weird Statues as Roadside America calls them. They have a great white shark, mermaids, a Mer-Goofy, a collapsed dragon, a giant mushroom — and mermaid tours.

Manatee Tours Weird Statues

Pepto-Bismol Dinosaur. Big pink dinosaur outside a massage parlor. I did not partake. The dino was decorated for Christmas. Nice pink sunset to compliment the pink dinosaur.

Pink Dinosaur

I stopped at a Checkers fast-food joint. I got a chili hot dog, a fish sandwich, fully loaded fries, and a Mr. Pibb. Enjoyed a sunset over a fan store that shares my name.

Dan's Fan City

What else?

A shack that sold mullet fish and boiled peanuts! Yeah, I wanted some. Yeah, showed up after it closed. I’m not happy about that.

Mullets and Boiled Peanuts

There were these mysterious places like Spinners & Fish Games.

Surf the Web and make friends? Fish games? Go fish?

Spinners Fish Games

I kinda didn’t want to leave.

3 Mermaids

Weeki Wachee Mermaids

Weeki Wachee is a Florida state park located in Spring Hill (formerly Weeki Wachee), Florida. The park offers kayaking, a spring-fed water park, wildlife shows, a riverboat cruise, and — what it is famous for — Mermaids.

I visited the park on December 9th, 2019, during my grand tour of Florida. Weeki Wachee — like the House on the Rock, Graceland & South of the Border — makes the bucket list of most fans of roadside attractions & tourist traps, so I had to check it out. Plus everyone likes mermaids, right?

I had the opportunity to purchase a ticket for the mermaid show and a riverboat cruise. I opted for both. The riverboat cruise takes you and a dozen other tourists down a vegetation-lined, spring-fed stream with a beautiful turquoise stream bed. The stream eventually connects to the sea, allowing manatees to swim into it, but we didn’t see any that day. The boat captain told a story about an island that was inhabited by monkeys. Not sure what happened to the monkeys. Didn’t ask.

The park grounds are decorated with dozens of sculptures of mermaids & nude swimmers. Sorry to disappoint/happy to relieve: the actual mermaids & swimmers in the exhibits and neighboring water park are NOT nude.

Weeki Wachee Park Entrance

Mermaid Gymnastics

The Mermaid Mold-a-Matic molds you a plastic souvenir in a matter of minutes. I got a blue mermaid. Yes, that’s the only choice. There’s also a souvenir shop in the main building.

Mermaid Moldomatic

On to the show!

I entered the Newton Perry Underwater Mermaid Theatre, then descended down a long cement ramp (sort of like descending into a cave) and entered the seating area. If memory serves, the seats were like high-school bench bleachers. The air was humid, but not hot. Everything felt almost moist.

Mermaid Theatre

The entertainment started with a park ranger who gave a talk about the local geology, fauna, and flora. Don’t be shy — ask a question, and the ranger will have an answer. Snakes, birds, lizards, manatees, what type of stone the grounds are made of — the ranger knows.

Once the ranger left, the Mermaid show began. The “ring leader” announced the start of the show, the curtain rose, and I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I SAW. Yes, three beautiful mermaids & their ring leader/announcer, but also the amazing sight of a huge, bubbling blue natural spring… held back my three thick glass windows. EYE-POPPINGLY AMAZING! If memory serves, the mermaids & the ring leader performed about a dozen “dances” & skits — all underwater, with the help of air hoses, and a lot of athletic talent (you try swimming underwater for 45 minutes).

It’s definitely worth seeing the show if you’re in the area, especially if you’re a mermaid or mermaid enthusiast.

The ring leader fights off the alga monster (alga is a problem with the local springs):

Algae Monster Attacks

The ring leader and mermaid breathe oxygen through hoses:

Mermaid Performers

Since I visited in 2019, a lot has happened. The park was closed due to the 2020 pandemic, the town of Weeki Wachee was dissolved by the state, but the area was placed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The Egg aka the Betsy Orb

“The Egg” aka the Betsy Orb is a sculpture of an ovoid egglike entity wedged between two buildings on Ocean Court in South Miami Beach, close to the intersection of Ocean & 14th Place. It’s named for the Betsy Hotel that it is wedged against.

Update: the Orb is actually a walkway between the buildings!

Miami egg

I last saw the Egg on December 7th, 2019. I was impressed, but somehow expected more.

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Wynwood Miami Art Murals

Wynwood Walls is an outdoor museum located in the Wynwood section of Miami, Florida. It was created by Tony Goldman to transform and revitalize a once bleak warehouse district. The museum features a courtyard surrounded by buildings covered in colorful pop-art murals and an indoor museum/gift shop. The museum itself is impressive, but the neighborhood is mind-blowing.

The art seems to have spilled over the museum walls and flooded the entire neighborhood, as every building, street sign, and even giant industrial hopper/feeder silos have been covered with art.

I visited Wynwood Walls and the Wynwood neighborhood on December 8th, 2019, after spending 3 days in South Miami for the Scope and Art Basel art fairs. You might think I would be tired of art, but Scope & Basel only primed me for the Wynwood experience.

Exploring the Wynwood neighborhood was like being lost in an amazing city-sized maze museum. Every street I wandered down, every inch of the town was coated with eye-popping, technicolor art. It was an Alice in Wonderland-like experience.

If you’re in Miami for a few days, give yourself 2 or 3 hours and check it out. Bring a camera. Get some lunch. The tip I got was to get there early before the tourist buses start dropping people off — so I’ll pass that tip along to you.

Here’s a small sample of the murals you’ll find in the neighborhood:

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Scrooge McDuck:

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

Not art, per se, but half a pink cow:

Wynwood Graffiti Mural

A red rocket hiding in a private parking lot:

Wynwood Rocket

 

Bird Safari along Florida’s “Alligator Highway”

Interstate 75, aka “Alligator Alley”, cuts across the everglades, connecting the east & west coast of Florida. Along the way, there are many rest stops where you can stop and look for alligators… or birds. I made the trip on December 8, 2019, and while I saw no alligators, I did see many large birds.

Great Blue Heron (Ardea herodias)

Everglades and Francis S. Taylor Wildlife Management Area, Fort Lauderdale, FL, US.

Blue Heron

Roseate Spoonbill (Platalea ajaja)

Everglades and Francis S. Taylor Wildlife Management Area, Fort Lauderdale, FL, US.

Spoodbill

Great Egret (Ardea alba)

Everglades and Francis S. Taylor Wildlife Management Area, Fort Lauderdale, FL, US.

Great Egret Ardea alba

White Ibis (Eudocimus albus)

Everglades and Francis S. Taylor Wildlife Management Area, Fort Lauderdale, FL, US.

White Ibis Eudocimus albus

Wood Stork (Mycteria americana)

Everglades and Francis S. Taylor Wildlife Management Area, Fort Lauderdale, FL, US.

Wood Stork (Mycteria americana)

Turkey Vulture (Cathartes aura)

Big Cypress National Preserve, Immokalee, FL, US.

Turkey Vulture Cathartes aura

Black Vulture (Coragyps atratus)

Big Cypress National Preserve, Immokalee, FL, US.

Black Vulture Coragyps atratus

Tricolored Heron (Egretta tricolor)

Big Cypress National Preserve, Immokalee, FL, US.

Big Cypress National Preserve, Immokalee, FL, US.

South of the Border Neon Sign

South of the Border at Night

South of the Border is a roadside attraction that needs no introduction. I’ve written about it before: South of the Border, the Quintessential Roadside Attraction  (if you do need an introduction).

I visited the attraction twice in December of 2019 — once during the day (12/3), and once at night (12/10). During the day, all the shops & restaurants are open for business. At night, the shops are closed & the place becomes a neon ghost town.

I didn’t plan on visiting South of the Border at night, but when I passed it — all lit up like a bowl of electric candy — I could not resist. How often do you get to explore a tourist attraction when you’re the only tourist? Rare. I stopped, walked around, it was worth it.

I saw one other guy, and we were both taking photos of the giant Pedro statue:

Pedro Lit up at night

The Hot Tamale restaurant & “hot dog” statue:

Hot Tamale

Fort Pedro Fireworks store:

Fort Pedro Fireworks

Pedro’s Pantry convenience store:

The Pantry

Ice Cream shop with Christmas Tree:

Ice Cream

Giant neon sombrero tower:

South of the Border Tower

“Never Fart” (Josh) sticker on a dumpster:

Never Fart

The big, colorful neon South of the Border sign visible from the highway:

South of the Border Neon Sign

Bordeaux Center Eiffel Tower

Fayetteville, North Carolina is a solid half-way stop between New Jersey and Florida. I’ve stayed there overnight several times — Marriott Springhill Suites is my top hotel recommendation.

On my last trip, I nearly crashed my car when I caught this roadside attraction out of the corner of my eye. It is a reasonably large Eiffel tower replica at a strip mall called  Bordeaux Center. Maybe not as exciting as a giant pink dinosaur or mermaids, but surprising none the less, and worth a stop for a photo.

Bordeaux Center Eiffel Tower

Last visit: December 3rd, 2019.

Peach World

Peach World is Fantastic

Driving through Georgia on a major interstate road you’ll likely see dozens of signs for Peach World. Like the signs for Florida Citrus Centers in Florida, or South of the Border signs in South Carolina, the repeated Peach World signs form a mantra in the mind — billboard hypnosis that compels the curious to eventually stop at one of these roadside markets.

Peach World

Georgia, of course, is known for its production of peaches, and Peach World is an orange shrine to peaches and peach-based foods.

I visited my first Peach World in December of 2019 returning from a road trip to Miami. To be honest, it wasn’t Peaches or the hypnotic, meme-mnemonics of seeing a Peach World sign every mile — it was Boiled Peanuts. Throughout my travels in the South, I saw hundreds of signs for Boiled Peanuts. Peach World had them, and that was enough for me to stop.

Peach World VW Bug

The exterior of the Peach World was what you might expect: an orange-colored (not “peach”) building (if you think about it, peaches are mostly orange & yellow, not pink/”peach”) with a sign that reads Peach World. Both the sign and the ramp needed cleaning with a power washer. The grounds featured a donkey & pony, which you’re free to feed corn and an eye-catching orange VW Bug.

The interior was very clean (no need for power-washing). One side featured the cash register and various machines to make peach-flavored ice cream and boiled peanuts. The rest of the shop was packed tight with wooden shelves & tables, packed even tighter with so much good stuff — pretty much everything you can imagine that incorporates peaches, peanuts, pecans, and anything you can bake, dry, or otherwise preserve. And a minimal amount of souvenirs — magnets, shirts, glassware. The proprietor was perfect — not pushy, but eager to entertain any question about Peach World and the confections it offers.

Much of the food I encountered was not easily found in New Jersey (where I’m from). New Jersey has its fair share of farmers markets & foods, it’s known for (tomatoes, corn, blueberries, cranberries, pork roll, salt-water taffy) — but there’s nothing like a Peach World or Florida Citrus World in New Jersey — there’s no “Jersey Corn Country” or “Jersey Pork Roll, Egg & Cheese Planet”. I purchased a case of various jarred foods — peach cobbler in a jar, peaches, okra, tiny corn cobs, & quail eggs. They were all fantastic, but the cobbler & quail eggs were a revelation — both I would definitely get again, whether on the road or via mail-order.

Now, onto the boiled peanuts — the reason I stopped in the first place. They’re literally peanuts in the shell that have been boiled. You get a heaping hot bagful — and if you let it be known that you’re eating them on a road trip, you’ll get a plastic bag and napkins so your hands, lap & car doesn’t turn into a swampy mess of hot peanut juice. I recommend giving them a try. They’re warm and soft — almost like a tiny potato — any they taste like shelled peanuts, not like peanut butter.

It’s worth contrasting Peach World with a Florida Citrus World. While I’ve only been to one of each, they’re as different as they are similar. Peach World focuses on preserved foods & baked goods, like Florida Citrus World is more bags of citrus fruit & candy. Florida Citrus World’s souvenir section of t-shirts, glassware, alligator toys & other tchotchkes dwarfs the minimal souvenir selection of Peach World. Both have animals — I’m sure it varies by location — but Florida CW’s got baby gators. I guess, if you’re like me, you have to stop at both, at least once, but because the foods are so good at Peach World, it’s more memorable.

Here’s the Peach World website. If they have it, I recommend the peach cobbler in a jar.

If you visit in person, and you visit the same location I did, be sure to feed the donkey & pony.

Donkey & Pony at Peach World

Last visit: December 10th, 2019.