Vitos volcano

The Volcano of Middletown, NJ

When hard-working New York entrepreneurs want to relax they head to New Jersey. Mostly they go to the Jersey Shore. Vito “Don Vito” Genovese was no exception. Vito took his hard-earned money and invested it in an estate in the northernmost shore town: Middletown Township. Within the estate, Vito created a majestic botanical garden, featuring dozens of species of trees, a massive rose garden, a koi pond, a frog pond, and terraced gardens featuring pools, waterfalls, and a volcano.

That’s right: a volcano. Not a real volcano of course, but a model of the famous Mount Vesuvius in Italy.

 Not a real volcano of course, but a model of the famous Mount Vesuvius in Italy.

I’ve seen this Grimace-shaped stack of rocks a dozen or more times and never thought it was a volcano. A horribly misshapen barbecue or kiln perhaps. But now I can see it. It doesn’t really look like Mount Vesuvius, but that isn’t something I would ever say to Don Vito.

But in the context of the beauty of the gardens, it’s pretty alright.

Deep Cut Park

Deep Cut Park

Deep Cut Park

Deep Cut Park

Did I mention the volcano has a side hatch? A hidey-hole? A place to put stooges who say it doesn’t look like the real Mount Vesuvius?

 Did I mention the volcano has a side hatch?

It’s also worth mentioning that I discovered that the volcano was a volcano thanks to the Roadside America app, which is the best app of all, and one of a handful of reasons to own an iPhone.

Also, important to note that the volcano is located in Deep Cut Gardens, which is now owned by the County of Monmouth. Go see it.

Accident, MD

Accident, Maryland

Accident, Maryland is a town created by accident. Legend has it that there was a guy, and this guy had one job to do. That job was to divide up the land in Garrett County, Maryland. But, he messed up. He done goofed. Instead of dividing the land up evenly, he accidentally left one area unaccounted for. His accident became the town of Accident.

Welcome to Accident

I visited Accident on purpose, but mostly to get this photo of this sign.

Nice View

Sideling Hill Overlook

The Sideling Hill Overlook is at the welcome center & rest stop in Maryland on i68. It’s worth stopping for the view of the massive cut through a mountain called Sideling Hill, and the overlook of the valley to the east. Good for photographers, which is everyone these days.

Overlooking the valley below:
Sideling Hill Overlook

Mountain? No problem, just carve a wedge out of it:
Sideling Hill Overlook 2

There is a Vietnam War memorial on the premises. The rest stop facilities are clean as well.

Link:

Freddy’s Mart

I’ve discussed in previous posts how my in-dash GPS likes to take me on nail-biting, white-knuckle journeys down roads better suited for ATVs than my silver muffin low-rider. A few weeks ago the GPS decided to take me down a crooked snake of a road called Bear Creek Road in Garrett County, Maryland.

While the road was a harrowing one-lane adrenaline ride, the view was gorgeous: beautiful forest and bubbling streams. Another case of “do I enjoy the scenery, or do I focus on not dying”.

Garrett County Maryland

Along the winding way, I encountered Freddy’s Mart: a ramshackle micro-village of barn shacks encrusted and encumbered with all manners of Appalachian Plateau cultural artifacts. At the time I spotted the place I was being tailed by teens trying out for Fast n’ Furious: Appalachia Drift. With no time to slow down to allow them to pass I had to keep going, likely never to see Freddy’s Mart again.

In my mind, Freddy’s Mart became a legendary place, and I began to manufacture a history for it. I cataloged in great detail its contents: logs shaped like snakes, buckets of thread spools, pots filled with old spark plugs, camping detritus abandoned by soft-handed weekend sportsmen, half-used spools of Stren, roadsigns with shot holes, old glass insulators from telephone-wires, one-eyed dolls that granted wishes.

By the time I shook the teens, it was too far and too late to swing back for an investigation. I had to settle for my imagination. Or so I thought.

Headed back to Jersey a week later, my GPS once again took me down Bear Creek Road, providing me with a twice-in-a-lifetime chance to see Freddy’s Mart. Fortunately this time I was able to slow down and stop and take some photos. The place was closed, but seemingly just as interesting as I imagined.

My pictures are kind of poorly framed, but the locals started to stare me down, and I didn’t want to outstay my welcome. I can say that the property is for sale, and if anyone wants to buy it, now might be the time.

Freddy's Mart

Freddy's Mart

Jesus is watching you. Freddy's Mart

A chunk of coal

Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania

A lot of my travel revolves around periodical cicada emergences, and this year my visit to Jim Thorpe, PA was no different (read about the Jim Thorpe periodical cicadas emergence). Documenting a cicada emergence requires you not only to travel where the cicadas are but also where they aren’t because we have to document the geospatial dimensions of their brood. This means I see more sights than most people who visit a town. Combine that with my in-dash GSP’s nearly suicidal compulsion for taking me down the hairiest, rocky, slippery, narrow, axel-busting roads, and I see some really interesting, out-of-the-way stuff.

An aside: you’re thinking “in-dash GPS? Dan, it’s 2016, why aren’t you using Google Maps on your smartphone as your GPS?” Well, I do use WAZE when traffic gets atrocious, but the thought of using a tiny screen balanced in my palm or in a cup holder isn’t appealing. “But Dan, you can buy an attachment…” Whatever, I like my in-dash GPS; it’s crazy, but it also gets me where I need to go while showing me miracles along the way.

Back to Jim Thorpe aka the Switzerland of America aka Mauch Chunk. Jim Thorpe is a small city in the Poconos region of eastern Pennsylvania, in the county of Carbon (because this is a coal country). It is nestled between three mountains, Broad Mountain, Pocono Mountain, and Bear Mountain (used Peakery to figure that out). The original name of the town was Mauch Chunk, which means Bear Mountain in Munsee.

My original guess was that the “Mauch Chunk” was the big chunk of coal located downtown, but no.

Coal chunk. I could not lift it

The mountain is actually shaped like a bear:

bear mountain

Jim Thorpe

Jim Thorpe gets its name from a gold medal-winning Olympic athlete and football player, but the story of why is a little out of the ordinary. As told to me by a friend: Mauch Chunk wanted to gain some attention, so they paid Jim Thorpe’s family for the right to bury Jim in their town and name it after him. Money talks, and so now the town is called Jim Thorpe and Jim is laid to rest in a memorial park on route 903. It’s worth mentioning that Jim was not born in this town, or even in Pennsylvania.

Jim Thorpe is also called “the Switzerland of America”, not because of cheese, but because of the mountainous terrain. Parts of the town seem like they’ve been poured onto the side of a mountain, like hot fudge on a pile of ice cream scoops. There are loads to do for bicyclists, hikers, and whitewater rafters. There is even a train that will drop you off on the other side of town so you can cycle back. The natural features that are worth seeing are the Lehigh Gorge and the Glen Onoko Falls (which I only made it halfway to due to time constraints, but the path there was beautiful). If you want to get away from the crowded city or bland suburbs where the only green is your lawn, and you like physical activity, Jim Thorpe may be for you. It is a breathtakingly beautiful place.

The Lehigh Gorge. The hole in the mountain was originally meant for a train to pass through:

 Mountain with a hole in it. Jim Thorpe PA

This small rock formation on the way to Glen Onoko Falls reminds me of Fred & Wilma Flintstone’s house:

Rock formation. Jim Thorpe PA

A forgotten Tea Cup in the forest:
Upended soup bowl in the forest

Hi Bear

Downtown Jim Thorpe is interesting as well. I don’t possess the knowledge and vocabulary to properly describe the buildings, but many are crafted of fancy bricks and stone, with ornate filigree (not sure that is the right word; one moment while I look it up; close but not really) hewn out of the rock itself. I would equate the experience to when you see an old European town, and you see the amazingly intricate and expensive-looking buildings, and think “how did they ever afford to build such amazing things — all we have today is crappy strip malls and cheap homes made of clapboard and sheetrock”? Google “Prague” to see what I’m talking about. Well, Jim Thorpe is like that — not every house; some look like shacks meant to be temporary housing for transient coal miners (as I’m sure they were) — but much of it is beautiful. My guess is coal money paid for the fancy buildings… but I’m sure some of it was due to craftsmen who came to America for a job in a coal mine but ended up applying trades learned in their home country. I could be wrong. I could be very wrong.

As you ramble on foot around town, be on the lookout for waving wooden bears, the Cheshire Cat in the window of the Through the Looking Glass Cafe, giant water turbines, the Mauch Chunk museum (which was not open when I was there — drat), the Mauch Chunk Opera, the Jail Tour, and angels in windows. Be respectful when you visit and wander the streets; residential homes are interspersed between bars, cafes, and tourist attractions; don’t be the guy who yaps loudly on his iPhone at 12 am outside someone’s home.

The tourists are part of any tourist town experience. Many tourists dress in bright primary-color uniforms that seem to be the only color available for weekend bicyclists and rafters. Add to that the similar palette of their bikes & rafts, and the whole town seems to be a swirl of brightly colored plastic particles. Maybe like a cheap kaleidoscope or if you spun around in the laundry detergent aisle at Walmart. I think Agnès Varda called it the “plastic colors of summer”.

Downtown is generally well-paved and friendly enough for those with soft hands, but just outside of downtown, roads become single-lane rock n’ roll rim busters with more craters than Verdun France. Amusing hyperbole aside, my GPS loves to take me down such roads, and then the challenge becomes balancing my desire not to die with my passion for sharing every interesting exhibition of Americana on Instagram. The struggle is real, but the rewards are rich. Adrenaline for now; memories to last a lifetime (maybe, or a few months, depending).

For instance, check out this gem. It looks like the set of American Pickers:
It looks like the set of American Pickers

That’s about it on Jim Thorpe, PA. If you’re into nature, physical activity, uncharacteristically interesting American architecture, and Americana-like waving bears, Jim Thorpe is worth the trip.

One last shot. The local drive-in. Cool.
Mahoning drive in

Links:

Grounds for Sculpture: the most interesting place in New Jersey

Trigger warnings: New Jersey, Nudity, Taxidermy.

New Jersey is simultaneously wonderful and horrible, and there doesn’t seem to be a middle ground. I’m generalizing, of course, but I’ve spent 95% of my life in the state, and struggle with the population density, high cost of living, close-mindedness, and rudeness every day. New Jersey is not 100% Sopranos & MTV’s Jersey Shore, but it is at least 50% that. Every now and then I have to take a step back and think “why do I live here?” It is then that I remember all the good people and places in New Jersey, and think “oh, that is why”.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” If there was one place in New Jersey that is an example of a better New Jersey, it is Grounds for Sculpture. Located in Hamilton, NJ, Grounds for Sculpture is a sprawling, peaceful, verdant park filled with hundreds of impressively-large sculptures. Visit Grounds for Sculpture and you will feel as if you’ve been transported to a new dimension, where people aren’t rude and have an interest in and respect for art.

 Grounds for Sculpture: The Shepard, The Sheep and Human Hill

Grounds for Sculpture: Sci-Fi sculpture

Grounds for Sculpture: Objects D'Art

Silhouette of woman and child sculpture

Grounds for Sculpture: Gloria Vanderbilt

Grounds for Sculpture: Sexy Lady

Grounds for Sculpture: Happy Nudes

They have a few indoor exhibits as well:

Grounds for Sculpture. Deer man.

Grounds for Sculpture. Mega Deer.

New Jersey should be more like Grounds for Sculpture. If you’re not from New Jersey, spend a day there — it will erase many negative misconceptions you have about New Jersey.

Disclaimer: I’ve only been there during the fall when there were no crowds. I’m hoping that it isn’t like a noisy shopping mall packed with rude, pushy people during the warmer months.

Archie McPhee

Archie McPhee in Seattle

What would life be without the occasional zany novelty item? Life would be gray, dull, routine, and boring. It would be a song that has rhythm, but no melody.

The front of the store. Note the neon sign, and lizard face and notice that they were moving locations:

Archie Mcphee

Archie McPee is the grand champion of zany but tasteful novelties (they seem to stay away from the fart and sex jokes). They have their favorite topics, like rubber ducks, rubber chickens, bacon, cats, Bigfoot, squirrels, pickles, unicorns, the devil, and odd-ball historical figures. They have their favorite types of novelties, like finger puppets, wind-up toys, bandages, cat hats, mints, masks, squirrel feeders, lip balm, and air fresheners. Need underpants for your squirrel? They got it. Need a bacon-scented air freshener? They got it. Need an inflatable wizard hat for your cat? They got that too.

I’m a big fan of Archie McPhee. I’ve been ordering from their catalog for at least 20 years, particularly for Christmas gifts. My favorite item of all time is their (discontinued) Cicada Keychain. When I was in Seattle for business I visited their brick n’ mortar store. Every fan of zany novelty items should visit at least once in their lifetime.

The store was everything I hoped for: everything in the online catalog and more… much more. They had boxes of eyes meant for taxidermy and odd-ball stuff like that. Plus, giant heads, carnival fortune readers, and other props that fit the motif of their merchandise. The staff was helpful, and pleasant but not dead behind the eyes.

A row of the Devil Duckies that they are famous for
A row of the Devil Duckies that they are famous for

Giant paper-mache devil head:
Giant paper-mache devil head

Captain Archie, Fortune Teller:
Giant paper-mache devil head

My purchases:
Archie Mcphee purchases

The location I visited, in May of 2009, has since closed and the store has moved to a new location. I imagine the new location is just as magical.

If you want more insight into Archie McPhee, check out this blog post on the Secret Fun Blog and follow their CEO Mark Pahlow in twitter.

OBAMA

Official Bad Art Museum of Art

Who’s to say that a particular piece of art is “bad”? You, that’s who.

Art is best when it is able to change our state — state of mind or state of emotion. If a piece of art can make you feel joyful, energized, comforted, disgusted, curious, fearful, motivated, relaxed, inspired, satiated, or terrified, it is good art. If art makes you feel nothing or leaves you unchanged, it is bad art. But keep an open mind — because something you perceive to be bad, might be good — you just lack the knowledge, experience, and perspective to see the good in it.

The OBAMA room

This brings us to the Official Bad Art Museum of Art a.k.a. O.B.A.M.A. (no relation to P.O.T.U.S.), a small museum located in the Cafe Racer, a bar/coffee shop / small music venue, located in Seattle, Washington.

The art in the Official Bad Art Museum of Art is really more “tacky” or “kitschy” than “bad” — black velvet, glitter, cloying, bizarre, outmoded, or in poor taste. All these qualities are capable of putting a smile on someone’s face — either a grin borne of genuine adoration or a smirk born of irony. Either way, art is capable of changing a person’s state and is therefore not truly “bad”. It’s fun to call it bad art, though, so I won’t pass judgment on the name of the gallery.

Here is some of the “so bad it’s good” art to be found at O.B.A.M.A.:

A Glittering Elvis:
Glitter Elvis

A Cute Pooch on Black Velvet:
Classic pooch on black velvet

An Unbelievable Jesus Made of Peeps:
Jesus made from Peeps

A Fluffy Cat:
Fluffy Baby

Anthropomorphic Poodle Lady:
Poodle Lady

The Cafe Racer itself is a comfortable, little beer, booze, and coffee bar. The people there were friendly. I enjoyed having the option to enjoy some delicious beers and strong coffee. Stop for the museum, stay for a drink and some conversation.

A wish all bars offered good coffee, in addition to booze.

###

I was last there in the spring of 2009.

Steve Heller's Custom Car

Steve Heller’s Custom Car Sculptures

While rambling along Route 28 on my way to a Catskills camping adventure, I encountered Steve Heller’s amazing space age & custom car sculptures. Staged on the grounds of Steve’s Fabulous Furniture showroom (3930 Route 28 Boiceville, NY), you’ll find U.F.O.s, rocket ships, metal dragons and pigs, and custom cars chopped and cropped into works of art.

At a minimum, you’ll want to stop and take photos, but you really should go inside the Fabulous Furniture showroom and check out Steve’s smaller space-age sculptures and live-edge furniture. You really have to see it to believe it.

A U.F.O.:

Rocket to Roswell

Rocket Ships:

Fintasia 14 Blast Off!

Rocket rebuilt from retro cars

Severely chopped cars:

Retro Rocket Car

Steve Heller Car Sculpture

And even an actual functioning car:

Custom Car